?

Log in

scarvesnhats

fic: fruit

« previous entry | next entry »
Oct. 21st, 2009 | 08:29 pm
posted by: archduck in scarvesnhats

Title: Fruit
Author: archduck
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 299
Disclaimer: Not my characters, etc.
Summary: Written for prompt six. Apples had always been Sirius Black’s least favourite fruit.
Other prompt entries: 1 2 3 4 5

Fruit

Apples had always been Sirius Black’s least favourite fruit. Red ones were overwhelmingly sweet, green ones were unbearably sour. Their fragile skins dented and bruised too easily. The childhood horror of biting into a rosy red apple to find it soft and brown with rot, a small worm wriggling at the core, had never quite left Sirius, who treated apples with extreme trepidation. As far as he was concerned, apples were exceedingly good for exploding over the head of a certain unsuspecting Slytherin diligently working on his Potions homework, and absolutely nothing else.

That is, until he realised he fancied Remus Lupin.

Remus loved apples. He ate them all the time – usually when he was curled up in a huge armchair by the Common Room fire, a dull and dusty Muggle book in one hand, a brilliant green apple in the other. Sirius watched (usually under the pretence of reading James’s copy of Quidditch Through the Ages), transfixed, when Remus brought an apple up to his mouth, and pierced the crisp green skin with sharp white teeth. Juice from the ripe fruit glistened on his smooth, pink lips, and trickled down his chin. Sirius shifted uncomfortably then, skin prickling with goosebumps and blood pounding in his ears. The tip of Remus’s tongue snaked out absently to lick at the stray juice, and Sirius wished fervently that it was his own tongue instead. He knew exactly how Remus would taste; he had imagined it so many times – tart and tangy from the apple, chocolaty from his Honeydukes stash, and smoky from the occasional cigarette. As Remus brought the apple up to his mouth again for another bite, Sirius lowered his reading material to hide his rapidly growing arousal, and thought to himself that perhaps apples weren’t so bad after all.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Comments {15}

lanenk

(no subject)

from: lanenk
date: Oct. 21st, 2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
Link

Cute! You describe the scene very well and it was very easy to picture, all the small details flowed together so well.

Reply | Thread

archduck

(no subject)

from: archduck
date: Oct. 22nd, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you, I'm pleased you thought so. :D

Reply | Parent | Thread

weyward sister

(no subject)

from: _cloudy_
date: Oct. 21st, 2009 10:38 pm (UTC)
Link

Omg. Eating food made sexy by Remus Lupin. Awesome.

Reply | Thread

archduck

(no subject)

from: archduck
date: Oct. 22nd, 2009 06:20 pm (UTC)
Link

Hehehe, thanks!

Reply | Parent | Thread

brighty18

(no subject)

from: brighty18
date: Oct. 22nd, 2009 03:12 am (UTC)
Link

Apparently, it worked on me, too. Like Sirius, I don't much like apples. but this made them rather delicious!

Reply | Thread

archduck

(no subject)

from: archduck
date: Oct. 22nd, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
Link

Excellent, glad to hear it! And thanks for reading :D

Reply | Parent | Thread

lhune

(no subject)

from: lhune
date: Oct. 23rd, 2009 12:07 pm (UTC)
Link

My view on apples has changed completely ^_____^

Reply | Thread

archduck

(no subject)

from: archduck
date: Oct. 23rd, 2009 06:02 pm (UTC)
Link

Yay! My work here is done. Thanks for reading! :D

Reply | Parent | Thread

(no subject)

from: batmanboxers
date: Oct. 25th, 2009 12:30 am (UTC)
Link

This was gorgeous!

Reply | Thread

archduck

(no subject)

from: archduck
date: Oct. 25th, 2009 10:09 am (UTC)
Link

Thank you!

Reply | Parent | Thread

PaulaMcG

(no subject)

from: paulamcg
date: Jan. 11th, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC)
Link

Once again I came to look for more to comment on, and I’m glad I’ve now found this little gem. Your descriptions are truly vivid. I can’t help feeling happy that your Remus eats apples all the time. (Mine likes apples in the same way – but I’ve never seen this issue from Sirius’s pov.) The contrast between the two longer paragraphs is wonderful.

I wonder if this is the same Sirius who cries when missing Remus at the age of 16 (if you write only one version of the characters and their story, I mean). And I want to add here that I don’t think a crying young man is a common cliché in fanfic. (Then again, I haven’t read much fic on ffnet or by very young writers etc.) Perhaps female m/m writers are even too eager to show that their characters don’t have feminine traits, so I’m glad you let your character cry when it is justified.

Reply | Thread

archduck

(no subject)

from: archduck
date: Jan. 11th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you so much! I'm very flattered that you wanted to read more of my stuff. I actually had a nosey at your profile the other day, and I'm really intrigued by your account of Remus's life - what an epic endeavour! I have bookmarked, and will be returning to read bits here and there when I have the time. :D

I don't intentionally write one version of the characters and their story, but when I think about it, all but one of the fics I wrote for scarvesnhats feature the same versions of Remus and Sirius, and fit together as part of the same story. I think 'By Moonlight' slots in there too.

I don't think a crying young man is a fanfic cliché either, but I sometimes feel like writing tears is/can be a cliché - if that makes sense! You are right though - Sirius crying at Grimmauld Place is realistic and perfectly justified. I should learn to embrace the tears!!!

Oh, and Remus liking apples just seems so right, I'm glad yours likes them too.

Edited at 2010-01-11 11:53 pm (UTC)

Reply | Parent | Thread

PaulaMcG

(no subject)

from: paulamcg
date: Jan. 12th, 2010 09:28 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you! I’m so glad you’ve taken a look at my profile and found the list of my fic interesting. Indeed, you could read here and there, for instance choosing short pieces first, so as to find out how you like my Remus and my writing. I’ve now edited the profile a bit, making it clear that I’ve now started posting my chaptered story (the main epic!), too, on lj – still only in my journal and friends-locked, as I still need to add a brief closing scene to complete the story. In any case I’d be happy to friend you also in order not to miss any new fic by you.

I admire also some writers’ ability to explore characters by developing alternative versions of them. However, I find it particularly satisfying to meet the same Remus and Sirius again in small, separately-readable pieces, too. I’ve never managed to make myself interested in writing anything that would contradict the story I started in 2003.

I don’t think I’ve actually described Remus’s love for apples in any short fic. Instead, in my very first short story – a GoF-era, Sirius-pov piece I wrote in 2004 – Remus cried, and I’m afraid there was some melodrama in that, at least in some readers’ views. Perhaps you are wise to consider carefully when to embrace the tears!

Reply | Parent | Thread

archduck

(no subject)

from: archduck
date: Jan. 12th, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
Link

I was already thinking that I ought to friend you, because I find your comments really useful, and we could have even more great discussions about fanfic writing! I'm happy for you to friend both of my journals if you'd like - archduck is my personal journal (friends locked), and roguerobots is my recently established writing journal. I would love to read your main epic, too!

I do think it's brilliant that you've chosen to stay within your own canon, and have, essentially, written a novel. If I was wearing a hat, I would take it off to you.

Reply | Parent | Thread

PaulaMcG

(no subject)

from: paulamcg
date: Jan. 15th, 2010 10:31 pm (UTC)
Link

I was happy to friend both of your journals immediately – while over the busy week I didn’t manage to write the final scene for my epic or read any fic. Your interest and appreciation has warmed my heart, and I’ll be looking forward to further discussions!

Reply | Parent | Thread